Funny tv quote this month
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“You know how hard it is to get clown makeup off a bone saw?”
High quality writing.
Tim @ June 30, 2009
Top Ten Suggested Names for the Jon and Kate Plus 8 Show.
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10. Jon & Kate Plus 8, but only on weekends and alternating holidays.
9. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus Jon’s new girlfriend Sherry.
8. Jon & Kate Plus Block, Sharpe and Levine, LLC.
7. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus a room divided by masking tape.
6. Jon & Kate Plus bitter resentment
5. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus Kate’s new girlfriend Sherry.
4. Jon & Kate Minus 8 cos the kids cited irreconcilable differences.
3. Jon Plus 24 hours of uninterrupted silence.
2. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus a speedy reconciliation in order to keep their million dollar show on the air.
1. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Join the Octomom Plus 14 in secluded anonymity.
Tim @ June 24, 2009
Plus 8
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So… I guess now it’s Jon and Kate Plus 8,… but only on weekends and alternating holidays.
Tim @ June 23, 2009
Fun Facts You Should Know
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The US Dept of Homeland Security believes their best shot at catching Osama Bin Laden is to nab him when he tries to cash in his free birthday dessert at Applebee’s.
Hannah Montana is the Disney Channel’s most successful program ever, surprassing Leroy Illinois and Monte Vermonty.
If you stacked up all the Oreo cookies in the world - you’d really be missing the point.
People licked the backs of postage stamps for 11 years before the Postmaster General got the idea to put glue back there.
The record for most appearances on Hollywood Squares is held by Paul Lynde. In 2nd place- Fidel Castro.
Tim @ June 20, 2009
Soccer
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the US will never be a force in international soccer until they figure out how to win a road game. Really. I’m just saying. When was the last time the US won a meaningful road game against a side tougher than Bouvet Island.
Tim @ June 18, 2009
Terminator…or Stiller?
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$53.5M
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$53.5M
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Terminator Salvation (2009)
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$43M
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$56.4M
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Well… I guess the Terminator wasn’t all that since it got smoked by Ben Stiller. Can you imagine if they cast Ben Stiller as the Terminator or as John Connor?
Here’s Ben as John Connor…
“Really? You just shot my friend. Very helpful. And what’s the whole thing with your robot skeleton? Seriously, where’s all this anger coming from? Hey, Skynet, this whole destroy humans thing - it’s not working for me.”
Tim @ June 16, 2009
Hail
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Got some mad hail here at work. I have always been amused by hail. Water too big to fall fromthe sky so it freezes and tumbles around in the clouds over and over before looking for an unsuspecting windshield.
Tim @ June 15, 2009
NBA Fouls
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It never fails to make me laugh when basketball coaches, players or fans complain about foul calls. The NBA has become a complete contact game, with non-stop fouls every trip down the court. To hear these guys whine about it like it is some new thing that just started is so ridiculous. Every contested shot has body contact or a slap on the arm - 30 years ago these guys would foul out in 4 minutes and they are upset about someone touching the body? Puh-leeze. Just shut up and play your stupid full-contact sport.
Tim @ May 27, 2009
Star Trek
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After two viewings, there is no denying that the new Star Trek is an awesome reboot of the franchise.
Tim @ May 26, 2009
Top Ten Hamster Rock Bands
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10. Tears for Hamsters
9. Hamster & Oates (although Oates is more hamsterish)
8. Nine Inch Hamsters
7. Van Hamster
6. Electric Light Hamster
5. Hamster Supply (and their International hit “I’m All Out of Hamster”)
4. Bananahamsterrama
3. Destiny’s Hamster
2. They Might Be Hamsters
1. REO Speedhamster
Tim @ May 17, 2009